Current mood:

blank

i left my body in my other clothes..
i like my hair today. its getting long. i like it long.
i realized that i dont have a future, really.
and that now more than ever, i would never make it as a writer.
yeah sometimes i can write good stuff so i wanted to maybe write opinions somewhere.. i dont really know because i have no idea who or what i want to be. but reading stuff out of books, uuuhhh my writing is SHIT compared to that. like kindergarten shit. like holy shit shit. seriously its nothing like that in books. which sucks. because im jealous.
im confused about myself right now so how would i fucking know my future?
i have the brain mentality of a 7 year old with really good manners and cares a lot. and has great thinking skills when it comes to weird and deep thoughts. mature thoughts. but shes still pretty dumb and cant really stay focused on wanting one thing.
im really weird, sorry.
but yeah.
im gonna buy a book tomorrow. because i need to do something else productive.
and ive always wanted to read the perks of being a wallflower because it looks like something i would LOVE.. seriously.
so yup.
its also summer coming up. im gonna get slim because i almost threw up the other day seeing the sick mirror horrors when i put on my bikini from last year. yeah.. all that junk food adds up after all. will i change? fuck no. i say that i will and desire to, but never gonna happen. and soon, i'll get over it. yeah pretty much im gonna be a 400 pound bitch on maury or something and die at the age of 40 from heart complications or whatever people die from by eating horribly.
next.
going real cheap for mother's day. she doesnt want much and we have been getting along real well lately so i'll just make her something nice with photos on it. she likes that sappy shit. =].
other than that, ive been real content lately. tired, but not sad or happy.
sucks having a bf that you cant see. havent seen him since april 1st.. wow. talk on the phone everyday, but its not the same. hes getting a car soon. in your fucking face, dad. IN. YOUR. FACE. couch faggot.
a toaster strudel or two sounds about lovely right now.

peace and im out.